Our 10 Top Tips - Divorce & Family

Plan to have difficult conversations, say, on Saturday morning over a cup of coffee rather than in the evening, when most of us are tired and are not at our best.
Find the words to describe what you mean; you could say you want to become ‘a successfully separated family’ or that your approach is a ‘problem-solving’ one.
Picture your future and give it a timeframe; how you would like things to be in 6 months time, or by the end of the summer or by Christmas?
At the same time be realistic and do not expect instant results; things take time to sort out. Do not rush. Do not negotiate till you know all the facts and figures.
As far as you can, compartmentalise issues and deal with each of them on its own merits. Judges expect people to deal with children and money as entirely separate topics.
Try to create a climate in which matters can be agreed and deals can be done; this may involve ‘turning the other cheek’ and ‘biting your lip’. Later, you will be glad you did.
If there are difficulties over child contact or if there are incidents, keep a diary. Write it down the day it happens.
If you need to resolve financial issues, make a real effort to get on top of the paperwork and the numbers; it is never as difficult as you think it will be.
Do not rely on legal advice from ‘the man in the pub’ or ‘the lady in the hairdresser's’. However well meant, it is likely to be wrong.
Be kind to yourself.